get wilde.

More likely than not, you have probably come across and/or taken Spark.com's fabled compatibility test that determines your personality type and rates its compatibility with your friends based on their results. Interesting to note that recent science has gone out of its way to disprove the myths about compatibility and establish some well-documented findings about what makes most relationships work. Take note, ladies and gentlemen.

1. Compatibility is overrated. The similarities or personality traits that attract people to each other may not hold up over time.
2. Sensitivity to the issue of compatibility may be in and of itself a sign of trouble. People overemphasize the effect of personality or values and underemphasize the extent to which easy, congenial temperaments aid marriages
3. People assume compatibility as a baseline requirement, then want more.
4. Measures of personality don't predict anything, but how people interact does.
5. A couple needs to be within one standard deviation of each other in intelligence (10 points in either direction)
6. Personality is important, but no one really knows how to match them up. Relationship skills, on the other hand, can always be improved, and they'll help any two people - with any two personalities - to get along better
7. People must look for the best in each other. If a man comes home late, his wife may get angry and ask "Why didn't you call?". Instead, she could say, "Honey, I was worried about you. Did something happen?"
8. There is no such thing as a compatible couple. All couples disagree about the same things: money, sex, kids, time. So it's really about how you manage your differences.
9. We have expectations in a relationship, and we tend to make them come true. The most satisfied couples are those with overly rosy views of each other.

Scent is a driving force at all stages of a relationship, argues Rachel Herz, visiting assistant professor of psychology at Brown University. She has found that scent is the second most important criterion for women (after a pleasant disposition). Women are more interested in scent than in appearance, voice or muscle tone. While men also rank scent highly, Herz argues that women are the more aromatically perceptible sex.

The source of each person's one-of-a-kind odor is, in fact, his or her unique immune system. The segment of our DNA called the major histro-compatibility complex (MHC) controls proteins involved in immunity - and in producing our own singluar smell. Immunity is inherited from both parents, and because the human species is best protected by the broadest array of disease resistance, we are designed to mate with a partner whoe MHC profile differs from our own. As such, studies suggest that we like the scent of people with immune systems unlike ours.

(reproduced from Scientific American, Oct 2004)

It's so true. It's all in the smell. I find myself attracted to strange men walking down the street just because they smell like my ex-flings. I nearly jumped my friend in the library because I found him suddenly incredibly attractive, until I realised it was just because he used the same laundry detergent as this guy I used to go out with.


- the gorgeous one  


One of my ex-flings smells like soft, milky Camembert de Normandie cheese (the 45% variety, not the milder 35% type) bathed in the rich vapors of Lebanese Chateau Musar 1996 Bekaa Valley White Wine. With a hint of parsley and chives. Just a hint.  


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